The tension in the audience is palpable. The crowd of students and retired people look at each other and smile nervously. At the back of the room twenty- one people link arms and sway them back and forth frantically. A small, slightly strange looking man, who appears to have some kind of furry animal attached to his face strides around, holding court. He stops to answer the ringing telephone and the camera vooms in on a strange object drawn on his hand in felt pen. After several dramatic pauses he turns to the camera and announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, we are privileged to be witnessing something today truly amazing. This is a spectacular game".

I put it to you, Ladies and Gentlemen that this man is, in fact, a liar. We are not witnessing something truly amazing. We are in fact watching someone open twenty-two random boxes. The television show in question is, of course, the hit channel four game show ‘Deal or no Deal’. In no way is the use of the word ‘hit’ sarcastic. Whatever you choose to say about the show, it is undeniably a hit. The viewing figures have been staggering with it, regularly blowing its competition out of the water and, in the process, achieving what many thought was impossible. It’s made Noel Edmonds a star again.

I’m not here to simply knock Noel Edmonds. Like many people of a certain age, I was brought up with ‘Noel’s House Party’ being staple viewing on Saturday nights. Whatever lies may have been spread after Noel’s spectacular fall from grace (now that actually was spectacular) lets get one thing straight right away: that programme was great. Most people in this country seemed glad that he had been given a second chance, some form of redemption. But the good will is draining away faster than the gunge from one of his tanks.

Each day a contestant is chosen at random, with the box that they chose randomly, to open the remaining 21 boxes in any order that they see fit. The key word here is random. There is no planning involved in the game and no element of skill. This is not in itself an issue: all games, to a greater or lesser degree, rely on luck. What is an issue is when contestants talk about how their ‘game plan’ is going to beat the banker. You can’t have a game plan: it’s pure chance.

Noel seems to be getting smugger by the show, and giving an increasing number of unlucky contestants a verbal kicking while they are down. If a contestant has dealt at a respectable sum of money, and then had an all blue round of small figures I’m not sure if top of their wish list is Noel telling them they have made "one of the worst decisions of their life". It’s not difficult to be smart in hindsight.

Deal Or No Deal is not entirely without merit, and is certainly not the worst programme on television. Watch it by all means, but lets not kid ourselves what we’re watching: a contestant opening boxes in a random order, spun out over forty five minutes and presided over by a man with a sun scrawled on his hand in blue ink. Not my idea of spectacular.